Becoming the Goddess: A Sexual (Re)Awakening at 60
She didn’t plan on starting over at 60.
But when the door closed behind him, and the last box was gone, the silence in the house wasn’t peaceful... it was loud. It echoed with everything she hadn’t said, everything she hadn’t done, everything she never thought she’d have to face.
For the first time, no one needed her. No one was asking. No one was watching.
So she finally turned inward.
And what she found wasn’t emptiness... it was her. Buried under years of obligation, silence, and survival… was a woman who still wanted. Still craved. Still knew.
And she was ready to come out.
Learning to Exhale
Suzy’s journey back to herself didn’t begin with sex... it began with grief.
Grief for a version of herself that spent decades hiding. Grief for the marriage that collapsed under the weight of unmet needs and unspoken pain. And grief for the woman she could have been... had she been allowed to choose herself sooner.
“I was married to a narcissist. I was the codependent. And I stayed because I didn’t want to give up the lifestyle,” she said plainly. But when the pandemic hit, everything broke open.
She remembers standing alone in the house, watching the moving truck pull away with her husband’s things. It felt like a scene from The Emperor’s New Groove... not because it was funny, but because it was absurd. Her entire life had been built around someone else’s needs.
So she burned it down. Not literally, but emotionally. “I literally went around and started throwing things out. My whole goal was to eradicate the trace of his existence in the house.”
Then came the silence. And with it... everything she’d ever buried.
Sitting With the Skeletons
There were rooms in her mind she never entered. Trauma lived there. Pain lived there.
Guilt. Shame. All of it boxed away for “someday.”
But “someday” had arrived.
Alone in a quiet house during lockdown, Suzy’s past came crawling out. “All of that stuff started coming out on its own volition. It was not pretty.” She started therapy. She cried for three years. She stopped pretending. And slowly, she started healing.
She began doing yoga every morning and whispering affirmations to herself like prayers: I’m complete. I’m enough. I have everything I need to be happy. And something began to shift.
People noticed. Co-workers commented on her energy. She radiated something new.
Something undeniable.
The Goddess is Born
The day her ex passed away, she felt it. A release. “It was like a breath. Like I’d been waiting to exhale.” For the first time, she didn’t need permission to move forward.
That’s when the goddess arrived.
“She is me, and I am her,” Suzy explained. “She never settles. She knows her worth.”
She wasn’t performing. She was revealing. She practiced sitting in power. She bought silver dresses and “fuck me” heels. She walked into rooms like she owned them. And she didn’t apologize for a damn thing.
“The goddess doesn’t sit prim and proper,” she said. “She sits in a position of power.”
Entering the Lifestyle
Suzy’s first taste of the lifestyle wasn’t through parties... it was through her late husband. He introduced her to threesomes with other women, framed as her fantasy, not his. And for a while, she played along. But eventually, the veil dropped.
“I felt like it was a ruse,” she said. “Like he just wanted to cheat on me... with me sitting right there.”
When that ended, she stopped everything. Sex. Intimacy. Even masturbation. “I thought that part of me was dead,” she admitted.
But it wasn’t dead. Just dormant.
And one night, a bald man with a beard woke it up with a kiss. “Guess who wakes up?” she laughed. “She was like, ‘Oh, I like this guy.’”
Awakening the Princess
That night, Suzy didn’t have sex. But she had spark. And that was enough.
She named the part of herself that reawakened the princess. “He kissed her, and she woke up,” Suzy said. “And once she woke up, she was hungry.”
From that moment on, Suzy pursued pleasure like someone finally giving herself permission.
“I needed access,” she said. “I needed to feel again.”
She joined FetLife. Went to her first party. Walked in wearing a sheer blouse and pants that she could peel off one at a time. She knew exactly what she was doing.
“I was handling everything. I’m a teacher... I know how to command a room.”
Power and Performance
At parties, Suzy didn’t wait for permission. She played on her terms. Slowly. Deliberately.
With control.
One night, she asked a man to remove her stockings in front of a crowd. Security stepped in... not to stop it, but to stage it.
“Every eye in that room was on my leg. You could’ve heard a pin drop,” she said.
It wasn’t about shock value. It was about presence. She chose the moment. She set the pace. She made the room stop.
That’s the goddess.
Chasing the First Orgasm
Despite all the play, Suzy had never had an orgasm with someone else in the room. “It’s a mind thing. A psychological thing. You have to be able to let go,” she said.
So she tried. Again and again. And one night, she told a man: “I just want to have an orgasm. Will you help me?”
He listened. He took direction. He slowed down.
And finally… it happened. It was like months of pressure… finally released.
After that, the game changed.
What Turns Her On
Suzy’s turn-ons aren’t physical. They’re energetic.
She’s turned on by:
Men who respect her space
Being the first one naked in the room
Eye contact
Erotic control
Being watched
Being adored
She’s turned off by:
Dick pics
Sexual entitlement
Boys who don’t know how to approach her worth
“The goddess doesn’t settle,” she repeated. “So if you’re coming to her, come correct.”
Sex as Self-Worth
For Suzy, sex isn’t a performance anymore. It’s not something she gives to earn love.
It’s something she claims because she’s worthy.
And now, she chooses everything... who touches her, how she’s touched, and what version of herself she wants to reveal. She doesn’t shrink for approval. She expands in power.
“I know who I am. And if you can’t meet me there, move on.”
